Purity outside marriage
I. What is the importance of purity
(chastity)?
There
may be many of us feel that the 'purity' was a strange thing to talk about, it
seems 'muluk- grandiose' and too idealistic. What's the need? Why bother Church
teach? Perhaps the answer is brief: because purity is closely linked to our
happiness. God created us in His image for honorable: namely that we are happy
with him, without blemish (cf., Eph 1: 3-6). The trick is to love, and giving
away. "Man can fully discover his true identity, only in giving him
sincere." [1]. Someone is always centered in yourself and never give
himself to others, will not live happily. While someone who is willing to give
themselves for others will discover the meaning of his life. Well, the sincere
gift of self willed by God, it is giving charity. That is why we need to know
and implement the virtue of chastity, because only by applying them, then we
can truly be happy and someday be able to look at God in heaven. "Blessed
are the pure in heart, for they shall see God" (Mt 5: 8).
II. What is that purity?
When
we hear the word pure gold or pure water, which is imagined in our mind is a
substance in the proper initial conditions, which are not contaminated by other
substances that bad. Likewise, God wants our purity, meaning that God wants us
to be perfect, body and soul, like in the beginning when He created man who is
extremely good (cf.. Gen. 1:31). The question then is: Is when we look at our
own bodies in front of the mirror, we can say, "Thank God, you created me
so well?" Or the next, already enough that we pay attention and maintain
the beauty of our spiritual side of keeping beauty physical?
Human
beings were created as spiritual beings who have a body; prudent and
self-determining. This is what makes the human being can know and love God, and
finds the meaning of life by making love. The question is, what kind of love?
The simple answer, but immeasurably in the meaning is: love like the love of
Jesus; the love that involves the body and the soul, as stated Him on the
cross. This is the purity of the love that God is teaching us.
So
no wonder that the Catholic Church defines purity, thus:
1. Purity = wholeness sexuality
physically and spiritually
KGK 2337
Purity means wholeness joyous sexuality in private and then inner unity of man
in physical and spiritual existence. Sexuality, in which the real, that human
beings belonging to the bodily and biological, becomes personal and truly human
when the personal is incorporated into the relationship between one person and
another, in the delivery of reciprocal perfectly and is not limited by time,
between a man and a woman.
Thus
the virtue of chastity involves personal wholeness and perfection of the
surrender.
If
we live up to the meaning of the unity of body and soul, then we can see that
our body created by God for a divine purpose, and with this body we can glorify
God. With this appreciation, we are not easily confused by the two extreme
views that exist in this world: 1) glorifying spiritual things to reject
everything that is physical / sexual abuse and consider it a sin; 2) glorifies
the physical and sexual things to a level that should not, and reject all that
is spiritual. Both extreme view is wrong because it separates body and soul.
2. Purity = restraint refers to the
gentleness and faithfulness of God
Purity
becomes important, because perfect love requires purity in how to present it.
Well, a pure is one who can control himself, at the time of committing himself
to others; so it can be a witness to others about God's faithfulness and
gentleness of love.
KGK 2346
Love is the form of all the virtues. Under its influence, chastity appears as
an exercise of surrender. Self-control is directed to surrender. Purity makes
people who live in accordance with it, a witness to his neighbor about the
loyalty and love of God are the meek.
3. Purity = affirmation and self-giving
that is not colored by the love of self / selfish.
"Purity
is the joyous affirmation of someone who knows how he lives by giving himself,
which is not limited by any form of slavery of self-love." [2]
It
is a pure gift of self that is not easily done, especially because humans tend
to have a sense of self-love. Our love of neighbor in general can be tested
with this question: What in relationships with others, my focus is to please
yourself or to please others? Whether in relationships with other people I
helped to live a holy / pure or even plunge? Pope John Paul II taught,
"The men and women who air-relate to one another with a purity truly
glorify God with their bodies." [3]
II. basic purity
Pope
John Paul II taught that we can understand the meaning of purity, we must look
at the circumstances at the time of the beginning man created by God. In his
sermon, Theology of the Body, the Pope teaches that there are three basic
experiences that can help us imagine the situation:
1. Loneliness Asali (Original Solitude)
At
the beginning of the creation, Adam experienced loneliness in a world of God's
creation; because he realized that he was not the same as other creation (cf..
Gen. 2:20). This consciousness arises from the experience of his body. This
solitude calling for fellowship with God the Creator and the other being
'similar' to him (cf.. Gen. 2:23).
2. Unity Asali (Original Unity)
Paragraph
Gen. 2:24 ".... and the two become one body "... is the basis of
their unity will default. This unity overcome human loneliness; and unity
between a man and woman were created in the image and likeness of God, is truly
different from horsing. Awareness of this original unity provides a basis for a
person's ability to give of herself to others and respect others, as
"brothers and sisters in the unity of humanity" (cf.. Pope John Paul
II, Theology of the Body 18: 5))
3. Nudity Asali (Original Nakedness)
Nudity
default is naked but without the experience of shame (Gen. 2:25), but that does
not mean that the person may then naked and not be ashamed. The point here is,
we must have a full awareness of the meaning of our body such as during the beginning
God created, as a statement of our whole person as a human being. Because,
"Behold the body, only the body, which is able to demonstrate the mystery
of the invisible God ..." (TOB 96: 6, 19: 4). That is why Christ the Word
became flesh (John 1:14) took the human body (Heb 10: 5), and finally
sacrificed his body as a ransom for sin, so that we can all understand the
magnitude of God's love for us humans (cf.. Jn 3:16). That is, the Lord Jesus
told the apostles to commemorate him by holy communion, where he will present
under the appearances of bread and wine. "This is my body ... .. this is
my blood" (cf., Matthew 26: 20-29; Mark 14: 17-25; Luke 22: 14-23).
So
if we understand the meaning of original nakedness, then we will see how the
grace of the invisible God was delivered to human beings, both men and women.
Holiness involving one's way of looking at God's creation is good as it is, is
what enables people to express themselves through a sincere gift of self (the
sincere gift of self). In other words, by being aware of the love that God
conveyed to us through our bodies, then we can use this body to love and serve
others.
In
the context of marriage, then the appreciation of the unity of the primal
experience and primal nudity is embodied in a sexual relationship of husband
and wife whose meaning is:
"I
give myself entirely to you, everything, with no one to keep to myself.
Sincerely. Without coercion. Forever. And I accept the gift of you that you
give me. I bless you. I support / confirm thee. Everything that is in you,
unconditionally. Forever. "[4].
Is
not this similar statement given by Christ to His Bride the Church, on the
cross? Christ gave Himself to the Church sehabis- endless, and similar
self-administration which became a model for the husband to give himself to his
wife.
While
sexual relations outside of marriage are only focused to satisfy the desires of
the body, tend to be total, not based on a commitment of loyalty forever, and
not based on spiritual fellowship in Christ. And because the relationship is
not done in accordance with the will of God, then it is a sin, and no wonder
then lead to bad things that can ruin a couple's relationship itself.
III. Interest purity
Has
submitted that the purity bring men to eternal salvation. Why? Because of the
purity shows the creation of man as male and female: namely, that we are called
to take part in the love of God in the Trinity fellowship in Christ. Loving
relationship of husband and wife to give birth to a new life, a vague picture
of the unity of God's love of the Trinity, the love of the community of God the
Father and God the Son who breathed the Holy Spirit. Of course, the three
Persons fellowship is not because there was a wedding in the Personal God, yet
their unity is something which should be described in every Christian marriage.
This is one meaning, that man was created in God's image (Gen. 1:27).
This
is why the physical relationship of husband and wife have a noble meaning.
Because the love of husband and wife did not just involve the body but also the
soul. In this case, the communion of the body can not be separated from the
unity of the soul. This union occurs when the couple was united by Christ,
because only in Christ man finds the sublime meaning of marriage. Likewise,
with the appreciation of the meaning of marriage, we can further appreciate the
lives of the religious who chose to dedicate a whole love them totally to God,
so that their life in this world to be a sign of a more clearly about eternal
fellowship between God and man in the "marriage supper lamb "that
does not involve marriage physically.
IV. Forms of purity
As
believers, we are all called to lead a chaste life, either as a religious
person lives, or those who are married or not married. We are all called to
live holy (cf., Vatican II, Lumen Gentium Chapter V), because our bodies are
the temple of the Holy Spirit (cf.. 1 Cor 6:19). So those who are married are
called to live in purity of marriage, while those not married, purity by not
engaging in sexual activity. Then there are three forms of purity, namely
concerning the purity of married couples, the purity of widows / widowers, and
the purity of the virgin / celibacy. [5]. Those celibacy for the kingdom of God
is a clear sign of the world about the meaning of communion with God in the
last days later because they were not married and were married but maintain the
purity of love in communion with God.
Then,
how to people who are engaged? The Catechism teaches:
KGK
2350, they were bound / engaged to be married are encouraged to live in an
atmosphere of pure abstinence. They should look at this as a time trial, in
which they learn, mutual respect and allegiance in the hope that they bestowed
by God one for the other. They should avoid a declaration of love which is the
conjugal love until the day they got married. They should help each other to
grow in purity.
Thus
the time dating / engaged to a time that should be used to get to know the
couple, especially spiritually. This is important, because the real spiritual
fellowship underlying physical communion, and inseparable from it. If the pair
prioritize physical intimacy, such as sexual intercourse before marriage, then
in fact both take something prematurely, wanting unity symbolized not actually
exist, and the purity of the soul and the body of their victims.
But
immorality is not only caused by sexual intercourse before marriage. Jesus
taught, "Everyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed
adultery with her in his heart .... "(Matthew 5:28). It adultery in your
mind is already included in the sins against purity. Apparently, purity becomes
something that is difficult to run, especially with a lot of propaganda as
indulgence in sexual matters. Why is there a human tendency to fall into sexual
sin?
V. Sin made man struggling in holiness
and purity
1. Sin human perception will change the
default condition
St.
Thomas Aquinas teaches that the first humans (Adam and Eve) was created by the
sanctifying grace of God (sanctifying grace) and karuniapreternatural gifts,
namely 1) of immortality or can not die, 2) can not suffer, 3) have a knowledge
of God or 'infused knowledge' and 4) thanks to the unity or 'integrity' means,
is the harmony or the submission of the lust of the flesh in mind. But since
the first humans sinned, they lost the gifts. Adam and Eve's original sin and
consequently lowered to their descendants, including us, so that we as humans
have always had a tendency to sin.
One
of the documents of Vatican II, Gaudium Et Spes write about original sin and
how people always struggle in holiness in the midst of a tendency to sin.
But
man, created by God in truth, since the beginning of history, at the invitation
of the Evil, had abused his freedom. He rebelled against God, and to achieving
goals outside of God. Although people knew God, they did not glorify Him as
God; but their foolish heart darkness, and they chose to serve the creature
rather than the Creator [10]. What we do know thanks to the revelation that is
compatible with their own experience. Because when checking his own inner man
was discovered, too, that he was inclined to do evil, and immersed in a lot of
bad things, which may not come from the Creator, who is good. Often he refuses
to recognize God as the foundation of his life. Thus he broke keterarahannya
true to our last destination, as well as the entire real relationship with
himself, with his fellow human beings, and with all creation.
Therefore,
in the inner human being disintegrated. That is why the whole of human life,
are reviewed individually and collectively, appear to be a struggle, it was a
dramatic struggle between good and evil, between light and darkness. Even
humans get himself unable to fight on his own power attacks crimes effectively,
so that each person feels himself like a shackled with chains. But the Lord
himself came to free and affirming human, with membaharuinya from within, and
by throwing out the prince of this world (cf., Jn 12:31), who hold humans in
bondage to sin [11]. As for sin undermines itself with stonewall man-in his way
to reach their fulfillment.
In
light of the revelation that both call sublime and profound misfortune, human
experience, discover the deepest explanation. "[6]
Sanctifying
grace restored by the grace that flows from the paschal mystery of Christ, so
that people can continue to take part in the life of God. Instead, thanks to
the integrity of the (gift of integrity) is unrecoverable, but used by God as a
way so that man could prove his love to God. Therefore, although baptized -
which means it has been receiving sanctifying grace, the three theological
virtues (faith, hope and love), the gift of the Holy Ghost, and the gift of
becoming children of God - people always have a tendency to sin
(concupiscence). The Catechism defines concupiscence / tinder of sin /
inclination to sin as follows:
KGK, 1264.
But within those baptized remain some temporary result of sin: suffering,
illness, death, weakness associated with the life (such as weakness of
character), as well as the inclination to sin that tradition called
concupiscentia [desire not regular] or, figuratively speaking, "the
kitchen of sin" [fomes peccati]. Because of the desire irregular
"left to fight, he will not harm them, who did not give up on him and that
with the help of the grace of Jesus Christ with a mighty challenge. In fact
more than that, who's fighting for, will receive a crown (2 Tim 2: 5)
"(Council of Trent: DS 1515).
From
the presentation above, we can see that until the end of his life, people will
always struggle in holiness, including in maintaining purity.
2. The virtue of self-control and the
relationship with the purity
In
connection with purity (chastity), we will specifically discuss the virtues of
self-mastery. The Catechism of the Catholic Church defines as follows:
KGK 1809
self-mastery is the moral virtue that curb the trend towards a wide range of
pleasure and makes us use earthly objects with the right size. He ensures
mastery of the will of the trend and not let tendencies beyond the boundaries
that should be respected. Humans who controlled self directing the will of the
senses her to the good, retains the ability healthier to assess, and adhering
to the words: "Do not follow any tendency although you can afford, and do
not you follow your passions" (Sir 5: 2, Bdk. Sir 37: 27-31) virtues of
self-control is often praised in the Old Testament: "Do not be ruled by
your desires, but mastering all your passions" (Sir 18:30). In the New Testament
it is called "wisdom" or "tranquility". We must live
"soberly, righteously, and godly in this present world" (Tit 2:12).
"The
good life is none other than to love God with all your heart, with all your
soul, and with all your mind. (By temperance) people to love Him with a perfect
love, which can not be shaken by misfortune whatsoever (because of the courage
that only obey Him (for justice) and the standby so that judging all things,
lest defeated by cunning or fraud (this is wisdom ) "(Augustine, mor. Eccl.
1,25,46).
Self-control
can be applied in food, beverages and also in sexuality. Self-control does not
mean eliminate all desire to be part of it, but wear them with the right size
and in accordance with right reason. [7] For example, for couples who are not
married, it is natural to want to each other, but not to perform intercourse is
only allowed for a husband and wife. Meanwhile, although the couple allowed to
do hubungam intimate, but not to the relationship based only on lust alone,
making a couple just as a mere object of impingement.
3. Practicing purity is like practicing
educate children
The
question is, how we can control these tendencies, so that we could be pure? The
word purity (chastity) by St. Thomas is to purify the tendency to sin
(concupiscence) by the intellect. Aristotle compares this as the education of
children. [8] As children are allowed to do anything, it will be increasingly
difficult to control. However, increasingly children are trained and educated,
then he will get by, until finally the education become part of him, so that
education will not be something to curb yet be something liberating.
VI. Violation of purity
Once
we know the purity and its relationship with virtue, and realized the need to
direct the natural impulse (sensitive appetite), then we will look at some of
the things that is seen as a violation of purity:
1. Lust / impurities
KGK 2351 Lust
is deviant will, or pleasure irregular sexual pleasures. Sexual desire
irregular morally, if he pursued for himself, and thus removed from his inner
purpose to continue life (procreative) and to a loving relationship (unitive).
2. Masturbation
KGK 2352
Masturbation is stimulation of genitals intentional with the purpose of sexual
pleasure. "Good Magisterium of the Church in its tradition that has not
changed and the moral feelings of the faithful have never doubted, to label
masturbation as an act of a very distorted". "The use of sexual
performance by deliberately, for whatever reason, is done outside normal
conjugal relations, contrary to the nature of the goals." For here sexual
pleasure sought outside of "the sexual relationship which is governed by
the law of moral / morals and in which achieved full meaning of surrender on a
reciprocal basis and also a human conception in true love" [9].
Although
there are psychological view that approve of masturbation as a means of
'channeling' sexual urges, but the Church does not justify such action.
Masturbation is an act based on motives glamorize sexual pleasure above all
else, and this can make a person's risk of sexual addiction, where a person
puts physical pleasure as a god.
It
must find positive ways to channel the sexual impulses, so that the focus is
not channeling the urge to engage in sexual activity, but it pointed to other
activities that build the body and soul.
3. Fornication
KGK 2353
Fornication is sexual intercourse between a man and a woman who are not married
to one another. It is a great offense to the dignity of these people and to
human sexuality itself, which by nature directed toward conjugal happiness and
to give birth to offspring and education of children. He was also a heavy scandal,
because then the moral young children destroyed.
Included
here are living together before marriage, because generally they do have a
tendency to commit the sin of fornication. Fornication is also not limited to
the real action, because one can fall into the sin of fornication with his mind
(cf., Mt 5:28; CCC 2528).
How
not to fall into the sin of fornication before marriage? Thus is the advice of
Johann Christoph Arnold, in his book A Plea for Purity:
"Hug
a long, mutually petting, kissing lips and everything else that could encourage
sexual desire should be avoided. The desire for physical proximity between
lovers is something normal, but instead evokes passion surrounding this
intimacy, the couple had to focus to get to know a couple more familiar spiritually,
and build on each other love for Jesus and his Church. "[10 ]
When
Jesus speaks of adultery in the heart, that is a man should not look at a woman
with lust. Pope John Paul II said, "Fornication in the liver do not just
because men see in such a way to a woman who is not his wife, but because he
saw a way to a woman .... Although the man was viewed in such a manner to the
woman who is his wife, he kept committing fornication in her heart. "(TOB
43: 2). So here the Pope teaches that sexual intercourse should not be reduced
only as a means of satisfying sexual needs, but as an expression of love that
is total between husband and wife in accordance with the will of God.
4. Pornography
KGK 2354
Pornography take actual intercourse or artificial deliberately and intimacy of
the perpetrators and show it to third parties. He tarnish the purity, because
he meyimpangkan meaning of conjugal relationship, intimate devotion between
husband and wife. He offends the dignity of those participants (actors,
vendors, and the audience), because they have become the object of primitive
pleasure and a source of profit is not allowed. Pornography immerses all who
play a role in it in an artificial world. He is a severe violation. Governments
are obliged to prevent the procurement and dissemination of pornographic
materials.
Unfortunately,
this adult pornography is rampant everywhere and easily accessible to the
widest range including children. Required a strong will and consistency to
reject pornography.
5. Prostitution
KGK 2355
Prostitution tarnish the dignity of the person who did it and thus belittle
themselves by making themselves the object of sheer enjoyment for others. Who
does the heavy sin against themselves; he broke with the purity he had promised
at the time of Baptism, and disfiguring his body, the temple of the Holy Spirit
(cf., 1 Cor 6: 15-20). Prostitution is a disaster for the community. As, usual
it involves women, but also men, children, or young people (both groups because
the latter involves an additional sin of apostasy) ... ..
6. Rape
KGK 2356
Rape is a violent offense in sexual intimacy man. He is a violation of justice
and love. Rape is a violation of the rights of every human being the respect,
freedom, physical integrity, and soul. It causes great damage, which can
overload the victim's lifetime. He was always an act that basically / itself
evil. Worse, if the parents or educators raping children entrusted to them.
7. Homosexuality
KGK 2357
Homosexuality refers to relations between men or women, who find themselves
interested in a sexual relationship, solely or mainly, to the same sex ... ..
Based on Scripture describes it as a great diversion (Bdk.Kej 19: 1-29; Rom 1:
24-27; 1 Cor 6:10; 1 Tim 1:10) the Church's tradition has always explained that
"it was very deviant homosexual acts" [11]. The act was against the
laws of nature, because the continuation of life is not likely to occur when
intercourse. The act did not come from a true need for mutual affective and
sexual complementarity. After all that action can not be justified.
VII. What if already not pure?
If
for one reason or another, (either because of ignorance or by mistake) a person
does not fully live the teachings of purity in the past, do not despair. The
Lord Jesus came to forgive the sins of mankind. Provided he sincerely repented
of sin and guilt, and God will forgive him. As Jesus forgives the sinful woman
(Mary Magdalene), and forgiveness is changing the lives of these women; Then he
can forgive us and change our lives. The Bible records that the woman is the
Lord Jesus appeared on the day of his resurrection. Hopefully, we too can
become witnesses of his resurrection and his saving work in our lives.
So,
the story of Mary Magdalene's conversion should encourage us to repent; and
always never too late to repent. Furthermore usahakanlah to maintain the purity
of this, and teach it to our children; so that they can know the good news of
this purity, and implement them in their lives.
VIII. Ensuring the purity of body and
soul practically.
Here
are the practical steps to cultivate purity of body and soul:
1. Know yourself
We
must know ourselves, so we know which areas we need to improve. To that end, we
ask the Holy Spirit to reveal what the hidden, that is in ourselves.
2. Please God's grace
We
ask God to cleanse our hearts of thoughts and tendencies undue.
3. Exercising restraint
Furthermore,
we must exercise self-control, and practicing the teachings of this purity in
thought, word and deed.
KGK 2530 The
struggle against carnal mind going through liver cleansing and exercise keep
the limits in every respect.
KGK 2532 For
liver cleansing is needed prayer, practicing purity, has the sole pure view.
Practical
guidelines: stay away from all the opportunities that encourage us to think or
do things that are not polite. Stay away from conversation that 'anarchist'
towards the porn. Look for the bustle of the more useful and constructive.
4. Purity of heart requires
unpretentious attitude (modesty):
KGK 2533
Purity of heart requires an unpretentious attitude, which consists of patience,
humility, and prudence (discretion). Unpretentious attitude to protect
someone's identity.
KGK 2522
unpretentious attitude (modesty) protect the personal and confidential love. He
was invited to be patient and exercise restraint in a loving relationship.
Unpretentious attitude requires that the preconditions for the definitive and
mutual submission of husband and wife met. In this position also includes the
attitude of decency / feasibility. It affects the selection of clothing. He was
silent or refrain if there is a risk of unhealthy curiosity. He is wise in
respecting the privacy of others.
"The
attitude is appropriate and understated (modesty) in word, deed, and the dress
code is very important to create an environment suitable for the growth of
purity .... Parents need to be vigilant so-mode mode immodest clothing and
inappropriate attitudes do not violate the integrity of a household, mainly due
to misuse of mass media. "[12]
IX. Conclusion: Purity = love with soul
and body
As a
creature created by God in the image of God, who is Love, man is created to
love. Then each man was given the ability by God to love by giving himself
sincerely, involving body and soul, and this is what distinguishes man from
other creatures. Therefore, human sexuality is a good thing, because human
beings relate to one another ber- with his body. So the ultimate goal of
sexuality is love, that love which involves giving and receiving.
So,
for couples toward matrimony must practice chastity, so as to honor the couple
and loving partner more than just a partner's body, but especially love your
partner as a person / person. Thus, the couple can get to know each other, can
give and take in more depth and spiritual.
In
marriage, the giving and receiving of love happens in a way that describes the
love that total as the love of Christ to His Church. This love relationship
cope with contractual relations or agreements, for which binding is Christ
himself, that when the couple are united by God to share in God's own life, and
in His work of creation. Therefore, the relationship of husband and wife have a
noble and sacred meaning, and therefore can not be done arbitrarily interpreted
and humans. Virtue of chastity is any attempt to use thanks to sexuality in
accordance with God's plan. Only by practicing the virtue of chastity is then
that we can truly be happy.
KGK: Catechism
