PURITY IN OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGE

Purity outside marriage

I. What is the importance of purity (chastity)?

There may be many of us feel that the 'purity' was a strange thing to talk about, it seems 'muluk- grandiose' and too idealistic. What's the need? Why bother Church teach? Perhaps the answer is brief: because purity is closely linked to our happiness. God created us in His image for honorable: namely that we are happy with him, without blemish (cf., Eph 1: 3-6). The trick is to love, and giving away. "Man can fully discover his true identity, only in giving him sincere." [1]. Someone is always centered in yourself and never give himself to others, will not live happily. While someone who is willing to give themselves for others will discover the meaning of his life. Well, the sincere gift of self willed by God, it is giving charity. That is why we need to know and implement the virtue of chastity, because only by applying them, then we can truly be happy and someday be able to look at God in heaven. "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God" (Mt 5: 8).

II. What is that purity?

When we hear the word pure gold or pure water, which is imagined in our mind is a substance in the proper initial conditions, which are not contaminated by other substances that bad. Likewise, God wants our purity, meaning that God wants us to be perfect, body and soul, like in the beginning when He created man who is extremely good (cf.. Gen. 1:31). The question then is: Is when we look at our own bodies in front of the mirror, we can say, "Thank God, you created me so well?" Or the next, already enough that we pay attention and maintain the beauty of our spiritual side of keeping beauty physical?

Human beings were created as spiritual beings who have a body; prudent and self-determining. This is what makes the human being can know and love God, and finds the meaning of life by making love. The question is, what kind of love? The simple answer, but immeasurably in the meaning is: love like the love of Jesus; the love that involves the body and the soul, as stated Him on the cross. This is the purity of the love that God is teaching us.

So no wonder that the Catholic Church defines purity, thus:

1. Purity = wholeness sexuality physically and spiritually

KGK 2337 Purity means wholeness joyous sexuality in private and then inner unity of man in physical and spiritual existence. Sexuality, in which the real, that human beings belonging to the bodily and biological, becomes personal and truly human when the personal is incorporated into the relationship between one person and another, in the delivery of reciprocal perfectly and is not limited by time, between a man and a woman.

Thus the virtue of chastity involves personal wholeness and perfection of the surrender.

If we live up to the meaning of the unity of body and soul, then we can see that our body created by God for a divine purpose, and with this body we can glorify God. With this appreciation, we are not easily confused by the two extreme views that exist in this world: 1) glorifying spiritual things to reject everything that is physical / sexual abuse and consider it a sin; 2) glorifies the physical and sexual things to a level that should not, and reject all that is spiritual. Both extreme view is wrong because it separates body and soul.

2. Purity = restraint refers to the gentleness and faithfulness of God

Purity becomes important, because perfect love requires purity in how to present it. Well, a pure is one who can control himself, at the time of committing himself to others; so it can be a witness to others about God's faithfulness and gentleness of love.

KGK 2346 Love is the form of all the virtues. Under its influence, chastity appears as an exercise of surrender. Self-control is directed to surrender. Purity makes people who live in accordance with it, a witness to his neighbor about the loyalty and love of God are the meek.

3. Purity = affirmation and self-giving that is not colored by the love of self / selfish.

"Purity is the joyous affirmation of someone who knows how he lives by giving himself, which is not limited by any form of slavery of self-love." [2]

It is a pure gift of self that is not easily done, especially because humans tend to have a sense of self-love. Our love of neighbor in general can be tested with this question: What in relationships with others, my focus is to please yourself or to please others? Whether in relationships with other people I helped to live a holy / pure or even plunge? Pope John Paul II taught, "The men and women who air-relate to one another with a purity truly glorify God with their bodies." [3]

II. basic purity

Pope John Paul II taught that we can understand the meaning of purity, we must look at the circumstances at the time of the beginning man created by God. In his sermon, Theology of the Body, the Pope teaches that there are three basic experiences that can help us imagine the situation:

1. Loneliness Asali (Original Solitude)

At the beginning of the creation, Adam experienced loneliness in a world of God's creation; because he realized that he was not the same as other creation (cf.. Gen. 2:20). This consciousness arises from the experience of his body. This solitude calling for fellowship with God the Creator and the other being 'similar' to him (cf.. Gen. 2:23).

2. Unity Asali (Original Unity)

Paragraph Gen. 2:24 ".... and the two become one body "... is the basis of their unity will default. This unity overcome human loneliness; and unity between a man and woman were created in the image and likeness of God, is truly different from horsing. Awareness of this original unity provides a basis for a person's ability to give of herself to others and respect others, as "brothers and sisters in the unity of humanity" (cf.. Pope John Paul II, Theology of the Body 18: 5))

3. Nudity Asali (Original Nakedness)

Nudity default is naked but without the experience of shame (Gen. 2:25), but that does not mean that the person may then naked and not be ashamed. The point here is, we must have a full awareness of the meaning of our body such as during the beginning God created, as a statement of our whole person as a human being. Because, "Behold the body, only the body, which is able to demonstrate the mystery of the invisible God ..." (TOB 96: 6, 19: 4). That is why Christ the Word became flesh (John 1:14) took the human body (Heb 10: 5), and finally sacrificed his body as a ransom for sin, so that we can all understand the magnitude of God's love for us humans (cf.. Jn 3:16). That is, the Lord Jesus told the apostles to commemorate him by holy communion, where he will present under the appearances of bread and wine. "This is my body ... .. this is my blood" (cf., Matthew 26: 20-29; Mark 14: 17-25; Luke 22: 14-23).

So if we understand the meaning of original nakedness, then we will see how the grace of the invisible God was delivered to human beings, both men and women. Holiness involving one's way of looking at God's creation is good as it is, is what enables people to express themselves through a sincere gift of self (the sincere gift of self). In other words, by being aware of the love that God conveyed to us through our bodies, then we can use this body to love and serve others.

In the context of marriage, then the appreciation of the unity of the primal experience and primal nudity is embodied in a sexual relationship of husband and wife whose meaning is:

"I give myself entirely to you, everything, with no one to keep to myself. Sincerely. Without coercion. Forever. And I accept the gift of you that you give me. I bless you. I support / confirm thee. Everything that is in you, unconditionally. Forever. "[4].

Is not this similar statement given by Christ to His Bride the Church, on the cross? Christ gave Himself to the Church sehabis- endless, and similar self-administration which became a model for the husband to give himself to his wife.

While sexual relations outside of marriage are only focused to satisfy the desires of the body, tend to be total, not based on a commitment of loyalty forever, and not based on spiritual fellowship in Christ. And because the relationship is not done in accordance with the will of God, then it is a sin, and no wonder then lead to bad things that can ruin a couple's relationship itself.

III. Interest purity

Has submitted that the purity bring men to eternal salvation. Why? Because of the purity shows the creation of man as male and female: namely, that we are called to take part in the love of God in the Trinity fellowship in Christ. Loving relationship of husband and wife to give birth to a new life, a vague picture of the unity of God's love of the Trinity, the love of the community of God the Father and God the Son who breathed the Holy Spirit. Of course, the three Persons fellowship is not because there was a wedding in the Personal God, yet their unity is something which should be described in every Christian marriage. This is one meaning, that man was created in God's image (Gen. 1:27).

This is why the physical relationship of husband and wife have a noble meaning. Because the love of husband and wife did not just involve the body but also the soul. In this case, the communion of the body can not be separated from the unity of the soul. This union occurs when the couple was united by Christ, because only in Christ man finds the sublime meaning of marriage. Likewise, with the appreciation of the meaning of marriage, we can further appreciate the lives of the religious who chose to dedicate a whole love them totally to God, so that their life in this world to be a sign of a more clearly about eternal fellowship between God and man in the "marriage supper lamb "that does not involve marriage physically.

IV. Forms of purity

As believers, we are all called to lead a chaste life, either as a religious person lives, or those who are married or not married. We are all called to live holy (cf., Vatican II, Lumen Gentium Chapter V), because our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit (cf.. 1 Cor 6:19). So those who are married are called to live in purity of marriage, while those not married, purity by not engaging in sexual activity. Then there are three forms of purity, namely concerning the purity of married couples, the purity of widows / widowers, and the purity of the virgin / celibacy. [5]. Those celibacy for the kingdom of God is a clear sign of the world about the meaning of communion with God in the last days later because they were not married and were married but maintain the purity of love in communion with God.

Then, how to people who are engaged? The Catechism teaches:

KGK 2350, they were bound / engaged to be married are encouraged to live in an atmosphere of pure abstinence. They should look at this as a time trial, in which they learn, mutual respect and allegiance in the hope that they bestowed by God one for the other. They should avoid a declaration of love which is the conjugal love until the day they got married. They should help each other to grow in purity.

Thus the time dating / engaged to a time that should be used to get to know the couple, especially spiritually. This is important, because the real spiritual fellowship underlying physical communion, and inseparable from it. If the pair prioritize physical intimacy, such as sexual intercourse before marriage, then in fact both take something prematurely, wanting unity symbolized not actually exist, and the purity of the soul and the body of their victims.

But immorality is not only caused by sexual intercourse before marriage. Jesus taught, "Everyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart .... "(Matthew 5:28). It adultery in your mind is already included in the sins against purity. Apparently, purity becomes something that is difficult to run, especially with a lot of propaganda as indulgence in sexual matters. Why is there a human tendency to fall into sexual sin?

V. Sin made man struggling in holiness and purity

1. Sin human perception will change the default condition

St. Thomas Aquinas teaches that the first humans (Adam and Eve) was created by the sanctifying grace of God (sanctifying grace) and karuniapreternatural gifts, namely 1) of immortality or can not die, 2) can not suffer, 3) have a knowledge of God or 'infused knowledge' and 4) thanks to the unity or 'integrity' means, is the harmony or the submission of the lust of the flesh in mind. But since the first humans sinned, they lost the gifts. Adam and Eve's original sin and consequently lowered to their descendants, including us, so that we as humans have always had a tendency to sin.

One of the documents of Vatican II, Gaudium Et Spes write about original sin and how people always struggle in holiness in the midst of a tendency to sin.

But man, created by God in truth, since the beginning of history, at the invitation of the Evil, had abused his freedom. He rebelled against God, and to achieving goals outside of God. Although people knew God, they did not glorify Him as God; but their foolish heart darkness, and they chose to serve the creature rather than the Creator [10]. What we do know thanks to the revelation that is compatible with their own experience. Because when checking his own inner man was discovered, too, that he was inclined to do evil, and immersed in a lot of bad things, which may not come from the Creator, who is good. Often he refuses to recognize God as the foundation of his life. Thus he broke keterarahannya true to our last destination, as well as the entire real relationship with himself, with his fellow human beings, and with all creation.

Therefore, in the inner human being disintegrated. That is why the whole of human life, are reviewed individually and collectively, appear to be a struggle, it was a dramatic struggle between good and evil, between light and darkness. Even humans get himself unable to fight on his own power attacks crimes effectively, so that each person feels himself like a shackled with chains. But the Lord himself came to free and affirming human, with membaharuinya from within, and by throwing out the prince of this world (cf., Jn 12:31), who hold humans in bondage to sin [11]. As for sin undermines itself with stonewall man-in his way to reach their fulfillment.

In light of the revelation that both call sublime and profound misfortune, human experience, discover the deepest explanation. "[6]

Sanctifying grace restored by the grace that flows from the paschal mystery of Christ, so that people can continue to take part in the life of God. Instead, thanks to the integrity of the (gift of integrity) is unrecoverable, but used by God as a way so that man could prove his love to God. Therefore, although baptized - which means it has been receiving sanctifying grace, the three theological virtues (faith, hope and love), the gift of the Holy Ghost, and the gift of becoming children of God - people always have a tendency to sin (concupiscence). The Catechism defines concupiscence / tinder of sin / inclination to sin as follows:

KGK, 1264. But within those baptized remain some temporary result of sin: suffering, illness, death, weakness associated with the life (such as weakness of character), as well as the inclination to sin that tradition called concupiscentia [desire not regular] or, figuratively speaking, "the kitchen of sin" [fomes peccati]. Because of the desire irregular "left to fight, he will not harm them, who did not give up on him and that with the help of the grace of Jesus Christ with a mighty challenge. In fact more than that, who's fighting for, will receive a crown (2 Tim 2: 5) "(Council of Trent: DS 1515).

From the presentation above, we can see that until the end of his life, people will always struggle in holiness, including in maintaining purity.

2. The virtue of self-control and the relationship with the purity

In connection with purity (chastity), we will specifically discuss the virtues of self-mastery. The Catechism of the Catholic Church defines as follows:

KGK 1809 self-mastery is the moral virtue that curb the trend towards a wide range of pleasure and makes us use earthly objects with the right size. He ensures mastery of the will of the trend and not let tendencies beyond the boundaries that should be respected. Humans who controlled self directing the will of the senses her to the good, retains the ability healthier to assess, and adhering to the words: "Do not follow any tendency although you can afford, and do not you follow your passions" (Sir 5: 2, Bdk. Sir 37: 27-31) virtues of self-control is often praised in the Old Testament: "Do not be ruled by your desires, but mastering all your passions" (Sir 18:30). In the New Testament it is called "wisdom" or "tranquility". We must live "soberly, righteously, and godly in this present world" (Tit 2:12).

"The good life is none other than to love God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. (By temperance) people to love Him with a perfect love, which can not be shaken by misfortune whatsoever (because of the courage that only obey Him (for justice) and the standby so that judging all things, lest defeated by cunning or fraud (this is wisdom ) "(Augustine, mor. Eccl. 1,25,46).

Self-control can be applied in food, beverages and also in sexuality. Self-control does not mean eliminate all desire to be part of it, but wear them with the right size and in accordance with right reason. [7] For example, for couples who are not married, it is natural to want to each other, but not to perform intercourse is only allowed for a husband and wife. Meanwhile, although the couple allowed to do hubungam intimate, but not to the relationship based only on lust alone, making a couple just as a mere object of impingement.

3. Practicing purity is like practicing educate children

The question is, how we can control these tendencies, so that we could be pure? The word purity (chastity) by St. Thomas is to purify the tendency to sin (concupiscence) by the intellect. Aristotle compares this as the education of children. [8] As children are allowed to do anything, it will be increasingly difficult to control. However, increasingly children are trained and educated, then he will get by, until finally the education become part of him, so that education will not be something to curb yet be something liberating.

VI. Violation of purity

Once we know the purity and its relationship with virtue, and realized the need to direct the natural impulse (sensitive appetite), then we will look at some of the things that is seen as a violation of purity:

1. Lust / impurities

KGK 2351 Lust is deviant will, or pleasure irregular sexual pleasures. Sexual desire irregular morally, if he pursued for himself, and thus removed from his inner purpose to continue life (procreative) and to a loving relationship (unitive).

2. Masturbation

KGK 2352 Masturbation is stimulation of genitals intentional with the purpose of sexual pleasure. "Good Magisterium of the Church in its tradition that has not changed and the moral feelings of the faithful have never doubted, to label masturbation as an act of a very distorted". "The use of sexual performance by deliberately, for whatever reason, is done outside normal conjugal relations, contrary to the nature of the goals." For here sexual pleasure sought outside of "the sexual relationship which is governed by the law of moral / morals and in which achieved full meaning of surrender on a reciprocal basis and also a human conception in true love" [9].

Although there are psychological view that approve of masturbation as a means of 'channeling' sexual urges, but the Church does not justify such action. Masturbation is an act based on motives glamorize sexual pleasure above all else, and this can make a person's risk of sexual addiction, where a person puts physical pleasure as a god.

It must find positive ways to channel the sexual impulses, so that the focus is not channeling the urge to engage in sexual activity, but it pointed to other activities that build the body and soul.

3. Fornication

KGK 2353 Fornication is sexual intercourse between a man and a woman who are not married to one another. It is a great offense to the dignity of these people and to human sexuality itself, which by nature directed toward conjugal happiness and to give birth to offspring and education of children. He was also a heavy scandal, because then the moral young children destroyed.

Included here are living together before marriage, because generally they do have a tendency to commit the sin of fornication. Fornication is also not limited to the real action, because one can fall into the sin of fornication with his mind (cf., Mt 5:28; CCC 2528).

How not to fall into the sin of fornication before marriage? Thus is the advice of Johann Christoph Arnold, in his book A Plea for Purity:

"Hug a long, mutually petting, kissing lips and everything else that could encourage sexual desire should be avoided. The desire for physical proximity between lovers is something normal, but instead evokes passion surrounding this intimacy, the couple had to focus to get to know a couple more familiar spiritually, and build on each other love for Jesus and his Church. "[10 ]

When Jesus speaks of adultery in the heart, that is a man should not look at a woman with lust. Pope John Paul II said, "Fornication in the liver do not just because men see in such a way to a woman who is not his wife, but because he saw a way to a woman .... Although the man was viewed in such a manner to the woman who is his wife, he kept committing fornication in her heart. "(TOB 43: 2). So here the Pope teaches that sexual intercourse should not be reduced only as a means of satisfying sexual needs, but as an expression of love that is total between husband and wife in accordance with the will of God.

4. Pornography

KGK 2354 Pornography take actual intercourse or artificial deliberately and intimacy of the perpetrators and show it to third parties. He tarnish the purity, because he meyimpangkan meaning of conjugal relationship, intimate devotion between husband and wife. He offends the dignity of those participants (actors, vendors, and the audience), because they have become the object of primitive pleasure and a source of profit is not allowed. Pornography immerses all who play a role in it in an artificial world. He is a severe violation. Governments are obliged to prevent the procurement and dissemination of pornographic materials.

Unfortunately, this adult pornography is rampant everywhere and easily accessible to the widest range including children. Required a strong will and consistency to reject pornography.

5. Prostitution

KGK 2355 Prostitution tarnish the dignity of the person who did it and thus belittle themselves by making themselves the object of sheer enjoyment for others. Who does the heavy sin against themselves; he broke with the purity he had promised at the time of Baptism, and disfiguring his body, the temple of the Holy Spirit (cf., 1 Cor 6: 15-20). Prostitution is a disaster for the community. As, usual it involves women, but also men, children, or young people (both groups because the latter involves an additional sin of apostasy) ... ..

6. Rape

KGK 2356 Rape is a violent offense in sexual intimacy man. He is a violation of justice and love. Rape is a violation of the rights of every human being the respect, freedom, physical integrity, and soul. It causes great damage, which can overload the victim's lifetime. He was always an act that basically / itself evil. Worse, if the parents or educators raping children entrusted to them.

7. Homosexuality

KGK 2357 Homosexuality refers to relations between men or women, who find themselves interested in a sexual relationship, solely or mainly, to the same sex ... .. Based on Scripture describes it as a great diversion (Bdk.Kej 19: 1-29; Rom 1: 24-27; 1 Cor 6:10; 1 Tim 1:10) the Church's tradition has always explained that "it was very deviant homosexual acts" [11]. The act was against the laws of nature, because the continuation of life is not likely to occur when intercourse. The act did not come from a true need for mutual affective and sexual complementarity. After all that action can not be justified.

VII. What if already not pure?

If for one reason or another, (either because of ignorance or by mistake) a person does not fully live the teachings of purity in the past, do not despair. The Lord Jesus came to forgive the sins of mankind. Provided he sincerely repented of sin and guilt, and God will forgive him. As Jesus forgives the sinful woman (Mary Magdalene), and forgiveness is changing the lives of these women; Then he can forgive us and change our lives. The Bible records that the woman is the Lord Jesus appeared on the day of his resurrection. Hopefully, we too can become witnesses of his resurrection and his saving work in our lives.

So, the story of Mary Magdalene's conversion should encourage us to repent; and always never too late to repent. Furthermore usahakanlah to maintain the purity of this, and teach it to our children; so that they can know the good news of this purity, and implement them in their lives.

VIII. Ensuring the purity of body and soul practically.

Here are the practical steps to cultivate purity of body and soul:

1. Know yourself

We must know ourselves, so we know which areas we need to improve. To that end, we ask the Holy Spirit to reveal what the hidden, that is in ourselves.

2. Please God's grace

We ask God to cleanse our hearts of thoughts and tendencies undue.

3. Exercising restraint

Furthermore, we must exercise self-control, and practicing the teachings of this purity in thought, word and deed.

KGK 2530 The struggle against carnal mind going through liver cleansing and exercise keep the limits in every respect.

KGK 2532 For liver cleansing is needed prayer, practicing purity, has the sole pure view.

Practical guidelines: stay away from all the opportunities that encourage us to think or do things that are not polite. Stay away from conversation that 'anarchist' towards the porn. Look for the bustle of the more useful and constructive.

4. Purity of heart requires unpretentious attitude (modesty):

KGK 2533 Purity of heart requires an unpretentious attitude, which consists of patience, humility, and prudence (discretion). Unpretentious attitude to protect someone's identity.

KGK 2522 unpretentious attitude (modesty) protect the personal and confidential love. He was invited to be patient and exercise restraint in a loving relationship. Unpretentious attitude requires that the preconditions for the definitive and mutual submission of husband and wife met. In this position also includes the attitude of decency / feasibility. It affects the selection of clothing. He was silent or refrain if there is a risk of unhealthy curiosity. He is wise in respecting the privacy of others.

"The attitude is appropriate and understated (modesty) in word, deed, and the dress code is very important to create an environment suitable for the growth of purity .... Parents need to be vigilant so-mode mode immodest clothing and inappropriate attitudes do not violate the integrity of a household, mainly due to misuse of mass media. "[12]

IX. Conclusion: Purity = love with soul and body

As a creature created by God in the image of God, who is Love, man is created to love. Then each man was given the ability by God to love by giving himself sincerely, involving body and soul, and this is what distinguishes man from other creatures. Therefore, human sexuality is a good thing, because human beings relate to one another ber- with his body. So the ultimate goal of sexuality is love, that love which involves giving and receiving.

So, for couples toward matrimony must practice chastity, so as to honor the couple and loving partner more than just a partner's body, but especially love your partner as a person / person. Thus, the couple can get to know each other, can give and take in more depth and spiritual.

In marriage, the giving and receiving of love happens in a way that describes the love that total as the love of Christ to His Church. This love relationship cope with contractual relations or agreements, for which binding is Christ himself, that when the couple are united by God to share in God's own life, and in His work of creation. Therefore, the relationship of husband and wife have a noble and sacred meaning, and therefore can not be done arbitrarily interpreted and humans. Virtue of chastity is any attempt to use thanks to sexuality in accordance with God's plan. Only by practicing the virtue of chastity is then that we can truly be happy.

KGK: Catechism